What if a girl acts distant

However, we CANNOT live our lives with so much uncertainly, so we chose to deny that uncertainty exists and decide to live it in such a way that produces the illusion of certainty. Interestingly it is a sense of chaos, when it happens to us, which if we overcome the anxiety and depression associated by it, motivates us to become more ordered.

So even if NC does appear to work as in your case, it can build anger and sadness that causes long term resentment which is toxic in the relationship. Fundamentally a relationship is about communication, building trust and connection and working on problems together, negotiation, mediation and compromise. Not disconnection and no contact. And although you may have felt that you have made some kind of progress, the issues that drove you apart in the first place are still there and will need working on.

Im sorry I irritated you. I understand you were trying to help, and I applaud that, but as a mental health professional, Im ok sounding a bit pompous. I feel justified in voicing my views to balance your opinion which may actually damage relationships if it is done too soon. There is a time and place to move on and finish contact, but thats after effective communication and is about moving on and saying goodbye for real, no doing no contact with the motive to reconcile.

You will be chasing your ideal person forever, there is no way you are going to find someone that will accommodating that kind of behaviour for too long. Display name. Email to be Notified Optional. Get notifications. By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the Site Terms and acknowledge our Privacy Policy. R elationship T alk. Please sign in To submit your vote please sign in or sign up , it is free and takes a few seconds.

Those may interest you: He only texts Good Morning everyday, but nothing else He texts me every day good morning but does not reply my texts. Does disappearing on your ex really work? Every day, men and women breakup My boyfriend sending goor morning texts to another girl?

If your ex texts you in the 60 day no contact rule, does that mean you have Okay there is this guy that texts me good morning every day I have a really clingy boyfriend who texts me 17 times a day and always wan My girlfirend swears she loves me but broke up with me the other day, still texts me every day. My girlfriend texts guys all day every day. Well one day my wife aked me if she could go to the club with her friends t If a guy can go a whole day without talking to you in a relationship, does he even care?

I text my ex one day she's ok with it the next day she wants me to stop. My ex girl friend still texts me every day since we borke up Deleted : Disappearing with an objective to get them back, is not the sign of alphaness even, and i seriously have an issue with alpha beta gamma thing I give it up when i am completely done!

Deleted : Other than this uncertainty is a killer for us.. We must be comfortable with out needs and questions and answers, maintaining our self respect should be utmost, and clarity gets over the time.. Dropping a good positive message is not a bad idea.. Meanwhile control your expectations and give your best! Whipped is when you bend over backward and do everything for your partner and get little to nothing in return.

Sometimes you need to swallow your pride dignity to get what you want. I think if you really care for someone, you can remain in their life as a casual friend, without expectations for something more. Not to hurt or manipulate your ex. Sorry for the misunderstanding :. I have not initiated any contact but have responded to her initiations, not immediately, but within a respectful timeline that I normally followed before the distant behavior.

The distant behavior that has been occurring has only been that she no longer calls me babe and such. And shes has said weve been spending too much time together too soon, which I agree. SAmmm : I apologize, I should have reread my previous comment more thoroughly and I realize my questions are numerous. I guess my main concern is: Does her initiations and my communication in reply not allow enough of the space that she requested and we need for our relationship to be secured?

An alpha male, as I understand the term, goes after what he wants and he knows how to be persistent without being a pest. He has grit. Meanwhile she may have forgotten who called who last. My HS boyfriend asked me out 5 times before I went out with him. We dated for 4 years. We still keep in touch we broke up when we went to colleges that were far apart but he was an awesome guy who has become a successful and kind man and father, and he was a great boyfriend! Girls are suckers for acts of romance, sending flowers, gifting perfume or anything really..

If he were to go by these suggestions, it would what we have. But if he showed active interest and care for me, especially with a romantic act, our relationship and my attraction will prosper. Only do the above if you have always been the chaser and putting more effort into the relationship.

Then she will miss the attention and wonder why It faded. Billy barnet : I tent yo a cree with, not over texting and being emocional begging, and chasing. Me and my ex have been seperated almost two years. I know she was cheating and screwing people i know, but i did that throughout my first marriage,so who am i to judge. Id love to have her back in my life, but ive used no contact, bought gifts, refused her help, helped her and even though i consider myself to be way out of her league, id still consider hanging out and trying to form a relationship Because she is cool and fun to be with.

Shes not ugly and sex was decent, kinda dull and boring, but we had good bond and enloyed each other. If you came off needy and jealous and insecure than you should give her some space You will actually screw yourself if you back off entirely and let her come to you. But do NOT follow this advice if you are suddenly confused about why the relationship just took a cold turn. I suggest you think about what YOU couldve done to create this lack of interest. And if you have no one else, ask a female neighbor or coworker.

Preferably older!! For me, all I want is to feel loved, while at the same time one understands that I am an individual and have a life to live! If they suddenly pull back, they need to be shown that you aware of it! If they need space, give them that: but know that going NC says there is one in ten chances to ever be together again!

Nothing wrong and a lot right with that. Leaving flowers on a doorstep to a woman who has sent you packing telling you she never wants to see you again is sad and self destructive. There are huge differences between the two. Acting in an alpha way embraces many concepts one of which is that being totally in touch with your emotions and your expression of them in a healthy non needy way without fear of ridicule or judgement is indeed a massive attraction for many women.

Of course, becoming despondent and sulking away questioning your own merit as a person in those circumstances will be the opposite.

Ultimately it comes back to what you give off with your body language and acts that say you are entirely secure, well grounded emotionally healthy individual whatever degree of connect you have to your feelings and expression of them.

Whats the point of having a relationship if you are not allowed to be needy? Whats the point of being with someone who doesnt care about your needs, or feelings? I wouldnt mind my boyfriend getting needy or jealous everynow and then, since he IS human, I AM human, and no human is ever perfect.

I wouldnt. Stan : Awesome. Some of what this article said hits it right on the head in my experience, anyway. You should also be clear with your expectations. Trying to convince a woman to rekindle her affection is like trying to grab a cloud. All too often, continuing to rehash the same problem is what pushes her away.

She has to process it in her own time and pushing her to make the decision prematurely will likely result in that decision to be to just get away from it all aka, you. Be available but respectful of her space.

When she talks to you, be positive and warm, accepting. Lastly, and most importantly, you have to be OK with both possible outcomes. She may also find that she IS into it. You are not Romeo and she is not Juliette. Let her do it! James hetfield14 : The best advice for men..

Thank you. Jimmy James : Good stuff I totally agree! First, if your woman is contacting you all of the time, sending you texts, etc, it better be because YOU are initiating first. Second, and this is important, men, you get distant because you need space. That is what Alpha Men do. Weak, cowardly men give her space, contact her once and then disappear.

Men, do yourselves a favor and go pick up a booked called "For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide To the Inner Lives of Women" if you want the real deal on what women want and how we think.

If your bucket is empty and they just take take take, well, look at them as a bad bank account with no recent deposits just withdrawals that greatly exeed the balance and close that account. God bless everyone with happiness and health. Dangerdiamond : I love flowers and gifts Oh no that hurts So why the game playing? If you think males rule you are sadly mistaking he he he thehe. See this cookie here let me show you how to get it and deserve it dangling are you drooling now?

Head Games really? Dave mustaine 14 : Guys this is gold.. By the way dont listen to advices given by women except your honest sister or mom. Its like asking osama bin laden where his army at.

Sorry ladies but thats the truth. Cheers for the wonderful advice here. Sure we can use the argument that men are more physical and women are emotional blah blah. The bottom line is people are looking for relationships to be happy and feel fulfilled in.

It is all about finding that one person who can appreciate you for who you are and you both compliment one another. If you are trying to figure out tricks to get people to react, then you are setting yourself up to play games.

Those always get old after a while. I met a Guy in a club this summer and fell in love at first sight. It was mutual, such a great connection. I had just come out of a relationship with an abusive partner and it was such a relief to be respected. Then he started to act hard to get and as if I was not really a prize but just attractive but he had options. Big attraction killer. It is NOT "Alpha" to do what you describe. What you describe is so weak and pathetic.

If you want a girl, show it. Show that you are brave and strong enough to risk being vulnerable and getting hurt cause you really value her.

If you are her type you Will have her heart. Meme21 : Love is earned, a two way thing. Relationships end for all sorts of reasons, a lack of respect, materialistic gain, family interference, I could go on. If the relationship had a strong, loving bond then it makes it harder to overcome the loss, rejection is never an easy pill to swallow.

Several things could be going on, she could be testing you, she could be just busy, or, in rare cases, yeah, she could be cheating on you. Not at all inciting anything, just casual talk, and her friend bent over to grab something she dropped and fell.

I caught her and helped her back up, and my gf had only seen the tail end of it. I apologized and explained the whole ordeal, and had her friend vouch for me as well, and everything has gone swimmingly from then.

Just ask her what;s wrong, and you may or may not get a response. If the relationship is a distant, as in more then 50 miles say, then some effort should be made on both parties to keep in regular contact. Problems start occurring when either one starts showing empathy towards the other. Busy bees make honey but can also leave a nasty sting, ouch!

Meme21 : Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk Hope it works out x. I had a bad relationship before meeting her and she knows how that went due to the nature of people gossiping to her about it and me answering her questions.

Hate to be so blunt but the same set of circumstances happened to me, the silent treatment is usually the dead give away, or not in my case. I hope things are resolved for the best, making the effort can take great effort in some situations when it really should be effortless, for most of the time anyway.

Good Luck and Hugs x. After he had told me he liked me we had a good convo about dating, relationships. Gave him a little kiss when the eve ended. Meme21 : Relationships are carved out of a combination of highs, lows, laughter, heartaches and tears. The 24hour drive thrus are the worst, you have to question the sincerity of the guy for a start. Try and stick to the healthier options, no to the extra large fries and whole juice instead of the fizzy stuff.

It makes sense, honest. Eat sensibly and recycle rubbish whenever possible x. Any ideas on how I could accomplish this over text as we are both very busy and may not get the chance to see each other before the weekend.

You in one bedroom with a cup of cocoa and she in the spare, kinda works if you both take a double dose of sleeping tablets and set mine traps on the landing. Sleepovers good movies, snacks and lots of fizz x. Diz : My gf has been doing this cold shoulder thing lately and i have confronted her about it. We are in a bit of a stressful situation as we are in limbo about where each of our own lives is heading.

There has been statements of commitment from both sides as well. I understand that she is in a bad headspace right now. When i confronted her about why she is so distant she says that she would love to talk to me all day everyday and that I should just message her when i wanna talk.

Then I do that and she is nowhere to be found but she is online and obviously using her phone. So i am taking this approach because I have to believe her when she says she wants to be with me but her being in a bad headspace I really think she wants space but just wont be straight up with me. Its not easy but I feel better because I realise I dont need to chase after someones affection.

Meme21 : How much space does she need, perhaps it would be an idea to take her on a long relaxing car journey to the open countryside, find a cow field and leave her in the middle of it. Good Luck. I think every relationship takes a break. I also think its agood thing.

Definitely do NOT text, beg plead. Big turnoff to men and women! Hugs Giana. Deleted : It can actually spark things up!

Be kind to yourself and never settle for trashy junk. Hugs and hugs x. The point is to go no contact when there is a loss of interest from the potential partner who leads you on then begins to appear aloof. When someone goes from constant interest and becomes distant it is best to let your love interest decide the outcome otherwise your just needy. Why waste time on changing someones mind. Yankee is not talking about being a duesh or ignoring the potential partner, but saying give them respectful space.

Let them know your interested briefly and leave it up to them to decide if your their Man. You either put a bit of a fight up or leave well alone. Good Luck x. I needed this so I could snap back to man hood. Truthiness : I just had this happen. She had a completely abrupt change in behavior. She used to always stay in contact with me, always wanting my attention. Recently contact has dropped off and been not existent.

I asked her what was up, and she told me "she did not want to bug me, and felt like she was bugging me. I am not a idiot, staying in a hotel with other guys, not contacting me and then trying to blame me for it when I never once gave a inclination of her ever "bugging me".

So I blocked her on my iPhone, blocked her email, no contact. No notification to her, nothing. If someone wants to play games like this, just drop them.

They are not worth your time. If he wants me in the friend zone, fine. Jade : I absolutely disagree. Very often, when Women begin to close down emotionally it is because their Man has done something to hurt them. The Man may not even realize what he has done wrong. A real Man does NOT just ignore the situation. If this Woman is not very important to you, then sure, let her go and find another guy that DOES appreciate her love. In fact, the more interest you show — the more she seems to back away!

Before we can talk about what to do if she begins to act cold and distant, you must learn why a girl acts distant and cold in the first place. If your girlfriend is suddenly acting cold and distant, there may be very distinct reasons why. I cover a few reasons below:. This is due to her interest level dropping. Her interest could be dropping due to a variety of reasons, but after years of this happening to me — I rationalized it out to a few main reasons:.

If you are being too available or too quick to answer her text messages — stop now. This means taking longer to answer her messages — being less available and not taking the first offer for a date. Yes, it might seem like your playing games — but modern dating today is mostly a chess game. This was my problem for many years. Stop now.

Maybe a new guy that she recently met on a dating site or even someone at the coffee shop that caught her eye. If this is the case, it is rarely worth trying to compete against the other guy. Maintaining a positive vision of your relationship can shift your energy, seep into your behavior, and ultimately draw her to you.

You can do this through meditation. Meditation allows us to connect with our higher selves. So, take minutes each morning focusing on what your ideal life would look like. Eliminate any fears and simply focus your intention on visualizing the version of your relationship, self, and world you want to see.

Then, take long, slow, deep breaths in and exhale any negativity, anxiety, or fear that you feel in your body. Not only will this eliminate needy energy, but creative visualization and daydreaming is the key to manifesting the relationship of your dreams.

If you can see it, you can achieve it. To use energy to create a positive outcome, you can also try affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements spoken out loud that affirm to the universe and your subconscious mind what you want to manifest. Masuru Emoto revealed how positive thoughts can even turn water into beautiful crystals! So when it comes to dating, putting out positive energy is very important, especially in the early phases when self-doubt, anxiety, and fear can sabotage a budding relationship.

Here are some examples that might help you:. The feeling I have about this person is not by accident. I trust that the universe is always conspiring with me to help me achieve my deepest relationship goals. MegaDating is the process of dating several women at once.

With my help, you can learn how to present yourself to women in ways that get their attention and make you more appealing than other guys. Need your opinion on this situation: We have had several dates and fun-times together but never had sex. I can tell she likes my company when we are together, and we have kissed several times. So you must at least attempt to make it happen. Now onward to my texting and communication answer. Instead go no contact until she texts you first.

This will accomplish a number of things. Instead, when she backs away, stand like a rock and let her come back to you. When a girl starts acting distant all of a sudden, most men will chase chase chase. Go no contact as long as it takes… until she reaches out.